


The List

by bittergrin



Category: High School Musical (Movies)
Genre: Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-10
Updated: 2009-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24264238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittergrin/pseuds/bittergrin
Summary: Jason thinks about the difficulties of coming out.
Relationships: Troy Bolton/Jason Cross
Kudos: 3





	The List

Jason was sitting alone in the library, trying to think. His grades were bad enough normally, that he knew no one would ever think to look for him there, especially not Troy.

His thoughts drifted to East High’s brown-haired golden boy. Mostly he thought about his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that he’d last seen in tears. Jason hadn’t been able to sleep the night before, every time he closed his eyes he could see Troy’s again, just like they’d been when he walked out on him the night before.

Why couldn’t Troy just understand? He was the golden boy, everyone loved him, his parents would support him no matter what, did support him no matter what. But it wasn’t that easy for Jason. His parents hated gays, if he came out he’d be out on his ass. Troy said it wasn’t that bad, said he was overreacting, said everything would be fine. But basketball was all he had, his only chance to get away from his father. Jason knew he wasn’t good enough for the NBA, he didn’t have any delusions of fame, but basketball was his ticket to college, and college teams didn’t recruit fags.

Not that any of that mattered to Troy, of course. Troy could always just go into theater.

Jason half-sighed and half-screamed as he plunged his head on to the table in front of him, hitting harder than he’d expected.

“Ow.” He whispered, leaning back to rub the bump on his head.

The image of Troy crying the night before came back to haunt him again. It all seemed so easy in his head, just break up with Troy. That was all he had to do. Hell, he didn’t even have to do it, Troy had already given him the ultimatum; he couldn’t stand hiding their relationship anymore. So all Jason had to do was nothing, just do nothing and all his Troy problems would walk out of his life forever. But, Jason didn’t want his Troy problems to go away.

He stifled another groan, not wanting the school librarian to kick him out. Okay, he just had to make a list, that’s what people did when they had to make decisions, right? A list; He tried to make it in his head, but with no sleep that wasn’t going very well. He pulled his notebook out of his bag and laid it open on the table, then fumbled around looking for a pencil, finally finding one at the bottom. Jason turned to the blank page and stared.

So, what was the worst that could happen? If he came out, he could lose his friends, would lose his family, and would probably lose any chance of going to college. If he didn’t come out, he’d lose Troy. He loved Troy, he knew that for certain. But they were still in high school, still young. How many high school romances lasted?

Jason looked around at the books surrounding him, wondering if one of them held the answer to that question. He shook his head and looked back at the list. What if this was the real thing though, what if this was the exception to the rule? What if it wasn’t? If it wasn’t, he lets Troy walk out of his life, and goes about things like normal, hopefully in a college as far away as possible. Where’d he meet some other guy, who’d he fall in love with, and who would want him to come out.

That was the core of it. It wasn’t just about Troy, it was about the truth. Jason was gay, he couldn’t deny it. He could either be honest with everyone about who he was, or he could live a lie.

Jason ripped the list he’d made out of his notebook, crumpled it up, and threw it in the trash can at the far end of the table.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published on 7/10/2009 at FanFiction.net.


End file.
